UNSTEADY

The KING HAS RISEN!  He is risen INDEED!!!  What a wonderful day to celebrate the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ.  It is because of Him that we are able to live and breathe a life full of forgiveness and grace.  I love you dearly my Jesus.  Thank you for all you gave so that I could have eternal life.  I will forever follow you, you are my KING

My Lord has stirred my heart today for those who may feel a little unsteady, shaken, or stirred in their lives and I'm here to say that it includes me too.  I've been here, I've had this feeling before.  The feeling of wanting to go somewhere very special with the life God has given me.  There is something so much bigger than I that I'm being called to do.  Not only do I feel that I'm being called to do something so much bigger than I can imagine, but something that can take away this feeling of loneliness and fear.  Lately I haven't been reading much scripture, if any at all, and haven't been very diligent about praying much and it has become overwhelmingly obvious why I have such an anxious heart.  As a matter of fact, I can feel it everywhere in my heart, mind, and soul.  I'm making a commitment today to get back to scripture and prayer.  It fuels my soul.  As I was sitting in Easter service today I had an overwhelming feeling of the Lord asking me to come back to Him.  I felt sad, my heart broke and I began to weep.  How could I have gone so long without trusting and relying on My God to answer all of the questions I've been struggling with in life?  The one who created me, knows me, knows every strand of hair are on my head, knew me before I was even born into this life.  I've been feeling really unsteady more recently in decisions I'm making toward my future and what it holds for me. 

 I had dinner with a very sweet friend of mine a week ago today after a long weekend of Chiefs Cheerleader Auditions and it couldn't have come at a better time.  This woman is someone I look up to beyond her imagination.  Her success in the professional dance world (NBA), her relationship with her sister, her commitment to success, her belief in God, and her ability to wait on the man the Lord had planned for her life.  From the moment I met her, she and I hit it off and I felt comfortable sharing life with her.  This was the second time we were able to share stories about life together and this visit was nothing short of amazing.  All the glory to God for putting such an inspiring woman into my life that I can look up to.  I know she has also been through some tough times as well and is now living the life the Lord had set for her.  I know God arranged this friendship, He knows exactly what we need and when we need it!  Make no mistake this all happened in the perfect timing. Through conversation, Marina said many of the things I had been asking God and I believe he came to me through her, encouraging me, assuring me, and filling my heart.  I believe if we start to feel ourselves drifting from the Lord, He places people into our lives.  This allows him to still reach us at our low moments.  He is always there, if we are just willing to see Him.  I felt Jesus today.  I felt him back in my heart and I felt his arms wrapped so tightly around me as I was in service.  I still feel unsteady about a few things in my life, but I know that over time, he will align my path and the answers will be abundantly clear of what he has in store for me and the direction I am to take with big decisions.  Do not fear if you feel unsteady, you will not fall.

Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand. 

-Psalm 37:24 

 

Sometimes I wonder, why.  Why did I have to go through a divorce?  Why did I have to experience certain things as a child that I did?  Why did I have to get a diagnosis of Melanoma skin cancer last year?  Why is this all taking so long?  Why does it seem that some people who have sinned against me and not repented have a good life?  Why is it that I have to have so many struggles along the way?  Why can't I have a yes for once?  When will it end?  Why is it that all of my friends are married and are having children and I have yet to find a committed man who is authentic and real?  Why did I fall for my ex-husbands antics of not being present, yet I still married him?  Why, why why?  I've got to let this all go!  Everyone's story is different.  Every life is different.  Every destiny is different.  This is why I KNOW God has big plans for me.  He's not quite finished molding me into the woman he created me to be.  I want to draw closer to his heart.  I want to feel him in my soul every day.  I want to live more of a Christian life.  I want people to know I follow Jesus without even having to ask.  I want Jesus to radiate from my heart and soul.  I don't have the answers to the questions above, but He does.  I have to put my faith and trust in his plan for my life.  I can't worry about the "whys."  They just take my eyes off of him.  God will take care all of us on Judgment day, we all sin and God knew we would.  His forgiveness is unshakable.  We fall short of God's glorious standard.  Thank you JESUS for dying on the cross for my sins and being RAISED to life for all to have eternal life.  He has overcome the GRAVE...DEATH HAS NO STING!   

 

 

If you are feeling a little UNSTEADY today, please click the link below and enjoy this song my Church kicked off service with today.  Hold on the KING when you are unsteady.  He's got a plan for your life, believe it!  Keep holding on even if you feel a little unsteady!    UNSTEADY

 



 





THE HEALING PROCESS

Ahhhhh, why yes.  A hot cup of decaf coffee and a night at home with my little guy stirs up a few thoughts.  A number of thoughts about the past few years and my recovery process.  You know, it's interesting that it's taken me almost 3 years to realize the healing process is so much more than just moving on from what was and realizing what is.  It takes much more time {patience} and work {prayer} on my end than I would like to even begin to admit.  When the divorce process started, I remember being told it can take up to the same amount of time to get over someone as the relationship was long.  Stunned and not knowing what was REALLY ahead of me, I thought, how is this even possible and I hope this is not true.  If it was in fact reality, I have a long 7 years ahead of me.  I didn't want to wait 7 years, I wanted the hurt to just disappear on its own.  I wanted the quick fix, the erase button, the control "Z", the undo, the delete.  Where were those buttons?  Unfortunately, the damage that was done to my heart didn't happen in a blink of an eye and the truth is, neither would the healing.  The healing would have to expose the deepest darkest secrets of my struggles to not only me, but to my counselors that had been walking this journey with me, the secrets that are extremely painful talk about.  During my struggle, God knew exactly who I needed, when, and how generous of their time my "guys in armor" would be.  These two would go to battle for me day in and day out, keeping me alive in my body and spirit.  They encouraged me to stand the fight and not give up on life, to not just "go away."  I truly can't even begin to express my gratitude to these two men in my life.  I still keep in touch with each of them and will be forever in debt to them for being MY biggest fans, always leading me back to the ONE in charge, God.
 

O Lord my God, I cried out to you, and You healed me

Psalm 30:2

 
My journey to the Lord and my faith has been a lot like my recovery, a process.  When I became a Christian, I knew that everything I was going through wouldn't just go away, but little did I know that everything I had gone through in my past, also wouldn't be disappearing any time soon.  All of it was up front and personal, right in front of my face.  I was exposed and I didn't like it, as a matter of fact I hated it.  I found myself really closed off a reserved, especially at church.  I couldn't and wouldn't let anyone know my secrets and what I was struggling with personally.  You have to have it all together to be at church right?  I mean, everyone knows how good they are and that they have it all together at church.  At least that's what I had previously heard many times growing up in my little hometown. As a matter of fact, after attending Champions Center for a few short months with my two friends that lead me to the Lord, Jake and Quincy, I realized that church is actually for broken people, REALLY broken people.  People who know they are sinners as we all are.  People who know they need more help than anything man can give.  People who need redemption and restoration, something I would also need shortly.  Church was for people LIKE ME.  I absolutely fell in love with my church and family at Champions Centre!  In August 2013, somehow I managed to graduate therapy school with honors, pass my Radiation Therapy boards, pack for the move home, and GET BAPTIZED, all while my divorce was being finalized.  Check out the Vimeo video below of my Church on the day of my baptism.  

"I HAVE DECIDED"

With TRUST being my word for this year, I know I need to be diligent in not letting my situation or desire to some day have a family be rushed.  This time it will be right.   God already has someone for me and will reveal him when it is God's time to do so.  Until then, I will continue to pray for my future husband, whoever and wherever he is. 

 





THE TRUTH

Welcome to my first blog!  When I first started to share with a dear friend what the Lord was placing on my heart about reaching others in His Kingdom, she immediately jumped on board and began lifting me up in prayer.  With a lot of prayer and encouragement from my friend, Mary, I would not be sharing how God saved me.  It isn't and never will be about what I've done to be saved, but it's because of WHO He is that we are all...

{SAVED BY GRACE}

 

 It's interesting when you reach out to the Lord, the things you find yourself doing, perhaps writing a blog you never dreamed of writing. I know, with all of my heart, the Lord is calling me to share my testimony with as many men and women who are in search of the TRUTH.  I am thankful that I came to know the TRUTH before I began my journey through the greatest trial I have experienced in my 30 years of existence.  I challenge you to reflect on how much you have put down or are willing to put down to seek the TRUTH. 



2016 RESOLUTION {TRUST}

Instead of doing a New Year's resolution, I have decided, again, to chose a word that the Lord has put in my heart.  Last year my word was STRENGTH and I wasn't sure how that was going to turn out, but throughout the year I gradually began to gain strength in so many ways.  Ways I didn't even know were possible and most importantly strength in standing up for what I believe in and my value as a woman!  I couldn't be more fulfilled in the ways God used me this past year.  Praise Him for all of the strength I was able to gain in 2015!  This next year is going to be a fantastic year for me, I can just feel it and know God's promises hold true!

 

And know that in all things God works for the good of those who Love Him, who have been called to his purpose

Romans 8:28

 

This year the Lord has put it on my heart to TRUST Him in ALL things.  Now that I have gained my strength back in the woman I am, it is time to trust my Father in everything, and I mean it all!  I can already tell this is going to be a great deal of a challenge this year because I'm ready to experience all of the blessings and joy he has for my life, but wanted it yesterday.  I constantly am reminding myself, "In His timing Wendi."  It's only the 7th day of the month and I'm already becoming anxious about certain things in my life, namely my relationship or lack thereof.  I'm beyond ready to find a man who has a heart for the Lord and cherishes my tender soul.  I know it's going to take a special someone to be with my soft heart, but the wait will be worth it when the time is right for God to reveal him to me!  I've got to TRUST His timing and the man He's already chosen for me, because let's face it, he knows exactly what I need and when. 

 

 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

 

When I am afraid, I will trust in You

Psalm 56:3

 

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me

John 14:1

 

 

I do have some personal updates to share!  I recently was given a new job at a University Hospital here in my area!  I am beyond excited and honored to be working at such a well-known, reputable hospital in the area.  I am still treating Cancer patients with radiation as a therapist, but have just moved hospitals.  God answered a prayer that had been ongoing for about 2 years.  It's always fun to be able to look back at all the prayers God truly answers in our lives!  The picture below is from the NYE event my sister and some of our girlfriends went to this year!  We had a blast and can't wait for what this year has in store for all of us!

 



 

Also, I have taken a leap of faith with joining Silpada!  I have loved their jewelry since I ordered my first piece and now have decided to join their team.  Along with the traditional Silpada silver jewelry, the company launched a new collection in the past year called the K&R collection, which I am absolutely in love with.  If you know me personally, you KNOW this is the jewelry I wear ALL THE TIME.  I have attached my link if you are curious about Silpada, the jewelry, or are even interested in hosting a girls night in.  I would love to share this journey with all of you! 

 

 

 

CONTACT ME:

 

https://www.silpada.com/public/rep/contact?rep=wendi3faith

 



 



UNEQUALLY YOKED

Equally Yoked or Unequally Yoked?  

When I met my ex-husband, I was only 21 years old and had a much different relationship with the Lord than I do now.  After 5 years of dating, I found myself married to a man who was a fan of God but not a follower of God, the same place I was in my journey several years ago.  I moved to Washington to be with my ex, I began to pursue my relationship with the Lord, especially when I was alone during deployments.  When he was back home, we would go to church on occasion, but it was very few and far in between.  I am pretty sure he believed in the Lord, but he wasn't actively praying and seeking God's will.  It really was when he was gone that my relationship with the Lord really began to flourish.  I believe with all of my heart that the amount of time we spent apart (3 deployments), Satan's temptations, and his lack of faith played a large part in the decision he made to have an affair and ultimately divorce.  I said repeatedly that divorce was not an option for me and our marriage, but the fact that he was even considering divorce as an option was evidence that we were UNEQUALLY YOKED. 

Do not be equally yoked with unbelievers.  For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness?  Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial?  Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?

2 Corinthians 6:14-15

If you are a woman with a husband who is not a believer but he wants to live with you, hold onto him.  The unbelieving husband shares to an extent in the holiness of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is likewise touched by the holiness of her husband.
1 Corinthians 7:13-14

If the unbelieving spouse walks out, you've got to let him or her go.  You don't have to hold on desperately.  God has called us to make the best of it, as peacefully as we can.  You never know, wife: The way you handle this might bring your husband not only back to you but to God.
1 Corinthians 7:15-16

 



When you are unequally yoked, the value system can't the same between the husband and wife.  Does this mean the marriage is no longer serving it's purpose?  What if marriage is not even about the two individuals and it's more about GLORIFYING THE LORD?  The closer to God the married couple gets, the closer their relationship is.  Marriage is a GIFT from the Lord, and our gift to him in return is a quality marriage focused solely on the Him.  Without God, marriage would be easy to just throw away when the "next best thing" comes along, because a two people are trying to make something that God created not centered on him, but what happens when God is the rock?  What happens when the temptation comes?  It will come, Satan is prowling.  He's waiting to steal, kill, and destroy any and everything God has created.  Marriage is not an exception!  As a matter of fact, Satan loves to destroy marriages with temptation and lust. 

We must guard our hearts and marriages!  Satan will do everything to tear it apart what was designed by the Lord, be prepared.  Put on the armor of God and defend the marriage.  The persistence of Satan and his desire to destroy is the exact reason that a husband and wife NEED TO BE equally yoked.  The man/woman you are with should lead you closer to God, not distract you from God.  The book Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas is an excellent read about the real purpose of marriage and glorifying God through our covenant. 

"The REAL purpose of marriage may not be happiness as much as it is HOLINESS"

~Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage

 

 



TESTING OF YOUR FAITH

If there is one thing that I have noticed it is that the closer I get to God, the more Satan tries to take me down.  I can remember when I was really diving into my relationship with God, it seemed that everything in my life started to be crushed into shambles.  I was losing some friends, who I thought were close friends, my marriage was falling apart, and I became harsh and judgmental.  I wasn't judgmental of others, but I sure loved knocking myself. for everything I've done "wrong."  Satan was there, right next to me.  As a matter of fact he was sitting on my shoulder, letting me know where I was falling short.  Not only in every relationship in my life and but mostly why my marriage was ending.  Interesting enough, I began to believe what Satan was telling me because it was coming from him and from others enmeshed in my life that should not have been.  It's easy to believe him when he takes a small amount of truth and stretches it to make you believe his lies.  Have you been here before?  Questioning everything you believed about yourself.  You're not alone.  Satan is so sly in his works that we don't even realize he's in our mind until it's too late. 

In a sense, our every day life is a test of the relationship we have with the Lord.  Each of the trials we experience test our faith in the Lord and build our relationship with The Heavenly Father.  We all experience different seasons in our life and when the opportunities present themselves,  God is right there to meet us RIGHT where we are.  He is there to lead our hearts into everlasting eternity with him.  He is directing our steps.  He is our lamp. 

 

Your word is a lamp to my feet

And a light to my path

{Psalms 119:105}

  

Circumstances will come your way for those who believe and those who don't.  The difference is in how we choose to respond to tough waters.  When a trial comes our way, our emotions reveal true colors and reflect what is truly going on in our head and more importantly our hearts.   

Have you ever let someone change your mood for a day?  We all have!  I know that I am definitely guilty of that, but the truth is I am ultimately in control of my emotions and that's it.  I realize I can't guard what I don't own and must remember to not let circumstances or people affecting my circumstances be responsible for my emotions.  In rough waters it is important that we own our emotions and refuse to allow a transfer of feelings to or from us.  For those of us who believe, we should always be reminded that even though the situation seems unbearable and impossible to deal with at the time, that the Lord is setting our paths straight and he already has something for you that you have no idea about.  What we can be assured of is that the Lord is directing us down the path he wants us to travel in order to become the woman he wants us to be.  God exposes our hearts through testing so we must always guard our heart.

Keep trudging forward!  God has a plan.  Even though you feel like you are at the end of the rope with your faith, that your prayers aren't being answered, and you want to quit praying...DON'T.  God is working!  He is giving you what you need when you want it. 

 

Above all else guard your heart

for everything you do flows from it

{Proverbs 4:23}

 
 

 

 

~When it's hardest to pray,

PRAY your hardest~

STAND STILL

What I love most about Sundays is my cup of coffee, time I get to spend with my sweet friend Mary, and my time with The Lord.  After church today, Mary and I caught up on some much needed in depth conversation.  I mean, we just got back from a 4 day ski/snowboarding trip to Utah so why wouldn't we have some things to catch up on?  Four days straight together and then a few days away calls for a major catch up session.  We always love to share what the Lord speaks to us in church that day and how it pertains to where we are in our lives.  Mary and I have quite a unique story as friends.  We love to challenge each other on an intellectual level and...we have the EXACT same background story...and when I say exact, I really, truly mean it.  Today, she and I were talking about the progression through life and how we are constantly wanting the next thing to happen.  When we were in middle school, we couldn't wait for high school.  Once high school came, it was college we had our eyes on;  then a husband, a home, and of course children.  We found we were asking ourselves, why can't we live in the moment?  Why do we feel like our lives are at a stand still right now?  We both made it through the trenches and are both looking forward to a life with a husband and kiddos, but when was that coming?  Do you fee like your life is at a complete standstill right now?  Nobody wants to wait for anything.  It actually seems like an impossible thing....waiting?  We are a generation of right here, right now, but is that how God works?  No, it's not and I often find God does the most work in me in the waiting period, the "STAND STILL."

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 ESV 

 

While I was going through my divorce, I felt like the pain was never ending and it would never go away.  My life was on hold.  What was I going to do financially and where was I going to go?  I was finishing up therapy school and fighting for my marriage and to physically to stay alive.  My life wasn't going anywhere.  As a matter of fact it was going backwards, or so it seemed.  But I was wrong.  I like to associate my set back in life as more of the leverage the propelled me into the woman I'm becoming today.  If you can imagine an arrow being pulled back and shot at a target.  The arrow would not have enough momentum to make it to the target if it had not been pulled back, but with movement in the opposite direction, the arrow was able to make it to its destination.  Even though this was not God's plan for my life, he has used it much bigger and better than ever.  During my stand still period in my divorce, I learned to love when I felt unloved; I learned to give when I felt taken advantage of, I learned to love who I was in Christ even though I was tossed away like an old piece of clothing.  God gave me my stand still period so I could see who I was through his eyes, and believe me when I say I'm still living it.  The more time I spent and continue to spend with him, I realize I am made a very specific way...perfect...HIS way.  My stand still period allows me to embrace who I was as Wendi, a child of God, and not as my ex-husband's wife.  I finally had an identity as a woman and it was through my heavenly father...I HAD HOPE FOR THE FUTURE. 

 

I came upon a very profound statement today in my Jesus Today book by Sarah Young and it was very fitting for that moment in life when you feel like you are at a stand still:

 

"Waiting with hope is very difficult, but true patience is expressed when we must even wait for hope.  I will have reached the point of greatest strength once I have learned to wait for hope."

-George Matheson. 

 

You will surely see God's goodness if you continue to stay steadfast in prayer and wait for the Lord.  Know that he is God and he is the ruler of your life and nothing can or will separate you from his love.  Never lose sight of his love and stay in perfect step with the Lord because the period where you feel like nothing is happening, that STAND STILL, the Lord is working on something very important in your life.  When you cry out to him, ask him to show you what he wants you to learn in this moment, this period of your life.  Don't miss out on what the Lord is trying to bring to the surface because it is only taking you down the path he has for your life.  Tough times will come.  Living life as a Christ follower is not easy, but it makes the tough times more bearable and eternity in heaven a promise.

 

EMBRACE THE STAND STILL BECUASE GOD IS AT WORK AND PRAYERS ARE BEING ANSWERED.  EMBRACE THE TIME YOU HAVE TO REALLY LISTEN TO AND UNDERSTAND WHAT GOD WANTS FOR YOUR LIFE. 

EMBRACE THE NOW