My Lord has stirred my heart today for those who may feel a little unsteady, shaken, or stirred in their lives and I'm here to say that it includes me too. I've been here, I've had this feeling before. The feeling of wanting to go somewhere very special with the life God has given me. There is something so much bigger than I that I'm being called to do. Not only do I feel that I'm being called to do something so much bigger than I can imagine, but something that can take away this feeling of loneliness and fear. Lately I haven't been reading much scripture, if any at all, and haven't been very diligent about praying much and it has become overwhelmingly obvious why I have such an anxious heart. As a matter of fact, I can feel it everywhere in my heart, mind, and soul. I'm making a commitment today to get back to scripture and prayer. It fuels my soul. As I was sitting in Easter service today I had an overwhelming feeling of the Lord asking me to come back to Him. I felt sad, my heart broke and I began to weep. How could I have gone so long without trusting and relying on My God to answer all of the questions I've been struggling with in life? The one who created me, knows me, knows every strand of hair are on my head, knew me before I was even born into this life. I've been feeling really unsteady more recently in decisions I'm making toward my future and what it holds for me.
I had dinner with a very sweet friend of mine a week ago today after a long weekend of Chiefs Cheerleader Auditions and it couldn't have come at a better time. This woman is someone I look up to beyond her imagination. Her success in the professional dance world (NBA), her relationship with her sister, her commitment to success, her belief in God, and her ability to wait on the man the Lord had planned for her life. From the moment I met her, she and I hit it off and I felt comfortable sharing life with her. This was the second time we were able to share stories about life together and this visit was nothing short of amazing. All the glory to God for putting such an inspiring woman into my life that I can look up to. I know she has also been through some tough times as well and is now living the life the Lord had set for her. I know God arranged this friendship, He knows exactly what we need and when we need it! Make no mistake this all happened in the perfect timing. Through conversation, Marina said many of the things I had been asking God and I believe he came to me through her, encouraging me, assuring me, and filling my heart. I believe if we start to feel ourselves drifting from the Lord, He places people into our lives. This allows him to still reach us at our low moments. He is always there, if we are just willing to see Him. I felt Jesus today. I felt him back in my heart and I felt his arms wrapped so tightly around me as I was in service. I still feel unsteady about a few things in my life, but I know that over time, he will align my path and the answers will be abundantly clear of what he has in store for me and the direction I am to take with big decisions. Do not fear if you feel unsteady, you will not fall.
Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.
-Psalm 37:24
Sometimes I wonder, why. Why did I have to go through a divorce? Why did I have to experience certain things as a child that I did? Why did I have to get a diagnosis of Melanoma skin cancer last year? Why is this all taking so long? Why does it seem that some people who have sinned against me and not repented have a good life? Why is it that I have to have so many struggles along the way? Why can't I have a yes for once? When will it end? Why is it that all of my friends are married and are having children and I have yet to find a committed man who is authentic and real? Why did I fall for my ex-husbands antics of not being present, yet I still married him? Why, why why? I've got to let this all go! Everyone's story is different. Every life is different. Every destiny is different. This is why I KNOW God has big plans for me. He's not quite finished molding me into the woman he created me to be. I want to draw closer to his heart. I want to feel him in my soul every day. I want to live more of a Christian life. I want people to know I follow Jesus without even having to ask. I want Jesus to radiate from my heart and soul. I don't have the answers to the questions above, but He does. I have to put my faith and trust in his plan for my life. I can't worry about the "whys." They just take my eyes off of him. God will take care all of us on Judgment day, we all sin and God knew we would. His forgiveness is unshakable. We fall short of God's glorious standard. Thank you JESUS for dying on the cross for my sins and being RAISED to life for all to have eternal life. He has overcome the GRAVE...DEATH HAS NO STING!
If you are feeling a little UNSTEADY today, please click the link below and enjoy this song my Church kicked off service with today. Hold on the KING when you are unsteady. He's got a plan for your life, believe it! Keep holding on even if you feel a little unsteady! UNSTEADY
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